Ch-ch-ch-changes

My son, pictured here, was in Times Square last night/this morning. Okay, so he's 20 and not a toddler anymore, but like any decent worrywart mom, I'm sure this is how I pictured him as I thought about his being at the mercy of an opportunistic terrorist or stampeded by the million people who were gathered to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the dropping of the ball. After reading about the confetti falling down with messages from well-wishers around the world and the new million-dollar Waterford crystal ball, I was able to chill out and focus on his chance-of-a-lifetime experience. (Okay, perhaps it was hearing about the heightened security measures that allowed me such "focus.") But even after I got my fears under control, I was amazed by the confetti of silly mother thoughts floating through my head: "I hope he's not wearing those new shoes he bought especially for this trip--they will be trampled, at best, and 'soiled,' at worst." "Should I text him and make sure he is dressed warmly enough for that 14-hour wait?" "Did he bring enough money?" "(Did he bring too much?)" "What if someone steps on his new shoes and he gets mad and starts a fight?" (He doesn't even have anger issues. And what is up with my preoccupation with his shoes? gah. Make it stop!) . . .

I finally just laughed at myself and realized that he's young and having fun as only a young person can in that situation (i.e., it will be years before he realizes he probably doesn't want to experience that again).

Obviously, he's changed. That was gonna happen with or without my consent. What is remarkable is the way my view of him, or rather, my role, has changed. I mean, there are times when mothers have to adapt their views in order to maintain sanity, but this time the change comes intentionally, with my consent. He's a month away from being 21, and he's thinking of moving to NYC. I knew he would want to someday, and I thought I was years away from being okay with that. But I'm actually ready to embrace his decision; I don't want to rain my silly mom confetti on his parade.

I love this feeling. So very liberating. :-)

**Edit** Life has a tendency to mock me (yes, me more than anyone else). I had to laugh aloud when I found out today that my son had forgotten to pack the very shoes I obsessed on in the paragraphs above. Some things never change...

Photo credit: me